A friend who happens to be a Spiritual Reader, to whom in friendship I finally said “There is something wrong, and I need help.” is someone who generally asks, “Is it mine to do?” That is the question that I ask myself now, “What is mine to do?” There are multiple answers to that question, but they are summed up by the following quotes.
“Darkness transmuted – is light of the Light. This my children, your purpose in being – transmutation of darkness to light.
The Emerald Tablets of Thoth
“As wisdom comes through you it is a gift to be shared as we step into our deep knowing, our spiritual authority. This is what we are here to walk, to teach, to share.”
The Structure of Spirit
When you find yourself the recipient of the Abuse of Power to the severe extent that I was, there are certain expectations that are held by the Abusers. Spoken and unspoken, they include the following.
Give up and give over both your power and your light.
Go to those who have created the wound to have your wounds healed. Only they have “the antidote”. Only they have “the medicine”.
Join those who have created the wound. You are so wounded that you can be “overpowered” and controlled.
Return to and/or stay within the community and “work” within it.
I will not die. But I have experienced death without dying. From a purely physical perspective I have been told, “You are lucky to even be alive.” In any case, I am alive, well and stronger.
I will not get seriously ill. I can now walk without the fear of falling, talk with clarity of speech, breathe without interference, and live without my life force being parasitically extracted.
I will not lose my mind. But I have been concerned about my well-being. I have experienced too many moments of neither being able to access, remember nor utilize my own knowing.
I will not fail. I do recall, however, hearing the boastful articulation of a precise method through which “spiritual technology” is utilized to cause failure within a person’s life. I also clearly recall the unethical actions taken in an effort to do precisely that. Of course and in a larger sense, there were many other derailment actions.
I will not keep quiet thereby never to be heard from again. But there have been important soulful moments of silence – hurting moments and healing moments. Together they have created this voice. Silence and stillness is important. There is also a time to speak.
As I was struggling to comprehend why this was happening and why it was being allowed to happen, through tearful eyes and with a statement regarding being sorry about what did happen, the Medicine Person told me, “Creator knew your soul was strong enough to take it. You were pure light until they got a hold of you. You had something that they did not have, and they wanted it.” Remember – You came into this life with sacred contracts and purpose. You are divinely magnificent. Even when it may seriously appear and feel otherwise, there is divine protection.
The Shamanic Healer asked me, “What is the hook within you that they are hooking into?” Remember – This may take you to places that exist back within your experience that you thought were resolved and seemingly have absolutely nothing to do with this current situation. Well, if you can and will go there - there is your hook. Now is a renewed opportunity to heal as well as to clear it. While not the only matter to be addressed, this is very important. Do the work! I would be remiss not to mention that there could also be significant past life and/or ancestral issues.
In speaking of the experience of being very sick and losing 20 lbs. within a week just after attending a ritual, the most resonant as well as simply deep explanation came from a Spiritual Intuitive who in a downplaying, yet meaningful way, said, “There was just a strong vibration there which did not at all match with yours, and which your system did not agree with. It made you sick, and you were releasing it.” I thank you Great Spirit for this release. Remember – Assuming responsibility for maintaining as well as elevating your vibration and frequency is very important. Unfortunately, some circumstances, especially targetted and repetitive ones, may attempt or even succeed at eroding it.
The Shamanic Sound Healer said to me, “Think about it differently. They are not evil. They are hungry, and you have to figure out how not to be their food.
They are not going to stop, and they will eat you. You are going to have to be brutally honest with yourself.” Remember – Although you do not have to speak aloud about it, you have to see, hear and sense everything that is interacting with or through you. You can not stop until you are done. Things may not be as they appear.
Having received an inquiry from the same Healer about what my work actually is – when I mentioned the “Healed Healer” component, we both uncomfortably laughed at the irony. I was told, “So, you are a Healer, go and heal yourself.” Remember – The path to healing will be multifaceted, and even with supportive assistance, it is YOUR path.
Subsequently in profoundly masterful energy work , the message that the Shaman communicated to me was, “You have not fallen. You have climbed up from and out of the lion’s den.” Remember – Forward movement may require you to experience a deep transformation or “dark night of the soul”, and it will last a lot longer than a night.
Finally, the Mystic said to me, “All I can tell you is … this is not true power.” Though the words of another, these sentiments are communicated in the following quote.
“As a divine changemaker, you are alive now to help birth a more loving world. A chief way you do that is by mastering more self-love and by learning to house true or authentic power.
True empowerment is based on spiritual power – not ego power or worldly force. You are encoded at a DNA level to wake up to what true power is, and to move out of your conditioning that causes you to seek power in the world.
The only power you will ever have is sourced from your connection with the divine.”
S.
The bottom line is that you can successfully survive a seriously aggressive attack. Though you will ultimately have to “work” through it alone, you can not move through it alone. Some of what you have heard confidently communicated - as well as some of what you believe - may work very effectively in other situations – but will not work in this situation. Though it sounds good and is well intended, it does not necessarily apply here. This requires focused as well as tailored work by YOU with assistance from the human, elemental and spirit worlds.
The fact that a myriad of degrees of this type of action have existed for eons – is no excuse for turning a blind eye, jumping on the bandwagon and/or being a part of allowing it to continue. Thankfully, things do not have to be as they have always been.
In such a case, healing from this - is like grieving. It does not occur on a schedule. Just because others think it is done, think it should be done or wish it was done, does not mean that it is. The process involves the attack’s events, the resulting aftermath and the deep healing.
Even a vital and committed Healer is on a journey. In the process of self and collective evolution, Healers are not exempt.
Ultimately, what it looks like is happening - may not be the entirety of what is happening. It may look and feel like you have fallen, but in fact you may be rising. You can not be distracted by the loss of people along the way. In fact, you will have to take the initiative to free yourself of some people and some activities. As the Mystic said to me, “Look at the big picture. This is about a lot more than just what is happening to you.”
As stated at the close of Part 1 - Do you truly know who you are? Birth YOUR Truth. That would be YOUR TRUTH – not someone else’s. We each hold our own beauty. Go within and emerge!
Step up and step in!
You must do your work.
You must find your courage.
I was fortunate.
I have been blessed.
I remain grateful.
I am well!
Namaste –The Divine in Me Greets the Divine in You.
While the Part 3 delivery date is not yet known, please feel free to follow this Abuse of Power Series. While there will be a Part 3 and maybe a Part 4, this blog series will end at that point. As I continue to move fully forward with renewed and enhanced understanding, forthcoming parts will be a natural progression on what has already been shared with a focus on "the bigger picture”.
Be well,
“Marianna”
Margaret Marianna
Margaret L. Rollins
